I don't know what just happened but I woke up wide awake. It's still dark out. And I kind of feel like I've been dragged by a truck. Or maybe hit by a truck. Not sure.
My brain is going crazy. Like there's a revolution in my brain that I'm not a part of. It could have been the cough syrup....I don't do well with that stuff. The drowsy kind puts me into a walking coma.....and dangerous things happen that I can't control. But the nondrowsy kind sets my mind on fire and I have some freaked dreams and wake up every 13 mins. But I've never woken up like this before. I don't know what to do. I hate being awake before the sun.....unless I never went to bed. But that's not what happened.
I dreamt about either a factory or intense mansion with ropes and secret passages. Whichever it was, it was incredibly detailed.


I have to go shave....Lion, Witch, Wardrobe staff preview today.....my body better get it together. Or else.

I've got to get out of this place.

I feel like I'm a completely different person from who I was whenever my last post was....let alone when I started this blog.
I think that's pretty normal though...right? Particularly due to recent events, I guess.
So...
Here's what is on my mind:

You are your time.

Your life is defined by how you spend it, or what you do. Not anything like how successful or popular you are....right? Yes.
So at the end of your life all you have is your experience. So I want to experience things. I want to do things. Things beyond what I'm capable of. Things that I've been dreaming up for too long. But where to start... Do I move out of state? Out of Country? Go back to school? Leave for Peace Corps earlier than planned? Finally do the show I've been putting together for years?
Fuck. I don't know. I am just so unsettled right now. And so unhappy with things. Not that things are bad....things are actually pretty damn good. But I want to do better. I want to be better than now.


It's funny how one small experience can change you. Even if just temporarily. One small interaction has completely changed my direction. And everything I want to be.

I need to get out of here. I need to love something. Like never before.


This might or might not be true...but from my small perspective, you had everything.

Part Three

Don't Vote...

My mind is made up there's going to be trouble.

I just don't believe that at this point people can still be undecided. I think that is complete bull. You know who these candidates are. You know what they are about. Yes, in some places they overlap...but on most of the major issues they're black and white (that is not a racial joke).
I just get so frustrated by people on NPR who say they like both candidates and just haven't decided yet....

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Are you alive? How have you managed to ignore the hours upon hours of ridiculous and lame media coverage? And the commercials? And the cancellation of prime time television for conventions and debates? You love prime time television.
I just have so little tolerance for people who can't see anything that's not right in front of them. People so caught up in their day-to-day that they have no idea that there is a bigger picture...no idea we're fucking all in this together. For better or worse.

Please don't misunderstand me. I understand that there are people not particularly dedicated to a certain party and who are weighing the issues to determine what's best for them. I appreciate your involvement and your awareness and I'm not necessarily talking to you. It's just difficult for me as a liberal-minded individual to feel that the progress I want to see happen is being halted for no good reason.

America, you frustrate me.
...after writing that I thought of Ginsberg's America...just because I like it, here's the end:

America this is quite serious.
America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set.
America is this correct?
I'd better get right down to the job.
It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts
factories, I'm nearsighted and psychopathic anyway.
America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

bad

I drank sour milk this morning.

It was a terrible, terrible experience.

That's not even the worst part...I made oatmeal first. Then there was just a little milk left. So while the oatmeal was heating, I drank it. I swallowed half and then other half went directly from my mouth down the sink. And I immediately did a water rinse and ate a jelly bean to get the taste out.
Then the oatmeal was done. It smelled like cinnamon deliciousness and maybe it would've been fine....but I just could not risk it. And I was so sad I threw the whoe thing away...plastic bowl and all. I'm kind of mad at myself for that part now.

PART 1

YES!!!

Part 2

No, really...this is amazing.

this is good

I am in love with any and all persons involved in this clip.

For Real...

No, Seriously.
I'm getting serious about this, guys.
I'm going to start writting stuff all the time.
But serisously this time.
I have no excuse not to just do it. So, for serisous, I'm going to do it.



Good: I left for work on time this morning.
Bad: Instead of bringing something edible from home for lunch I decided I could treat myself to something even more edible from somewhere on campus. But maybe I wish I just brought those pizza rolls....
Miracle: I found my watch in the parking lot next to my car this morning.

I had a party last night after Julius Caesar. It was to celebrate the new season of The Office. Decorations were involved.



It was good.

John McCain:

"Engines are the sound of freedom."


............really?

6.12 mi
53' 42"

cannot wait...

Today I bought tickets for Radiohead AND The Dark Knight...on IMAX.





Awesome, right??

5.72 mi
47' 28"

I am auditioning for Julius Caesar on Monday. Don't mess up.

Also, I'm currently in The Immortal. Don't think I've mentioned that yet....but, I like it. In fact, I've been inspired to take a dance class. Most preferably hip hop.
I will investigate and keep you updated.

6.62 mi
56' 41"

2.99 mi
23' 41"

4.06 mi
35' 32"

ok, so...

The downfall of my last blog was that I let it get too personal and I did not like that. It just wasn't constructive.
So, as lame as it might be, this is what I'm doing instead...

I can't express my love for this...just watch:

4.1 mi
37' 08"

4.31 mi
37' 52"

"I'll do anything for you."

Good news:

I graduated from college today.

It's coming...

April 4th & 5th

Be there.

Self defense? Come on, China...

Question from Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang:
"Is there any justice in the world?"
Answer: Remember in 1950 when your country strolled into Tibet with full military force and just straight up claimed sovereignty? Then forced conformity and suppressed religion? YES, there is justice in the world. So stop fucking it up. Killing innocent civilians participating in peaceful protest AND investing in a country that employs genocide only undermines justice and the struggle for human rights.



China says opened fire on Tibetan protesters
By Lindsay Beck and Chris Buckley

Chinese police opened fire and wounded four protesters earlier this week in unrest in a Tibetan town, its first admission that lethal weapons were used by its security forces to crack down on anti-government demonstrations.

Citing police sources, the state-run Xinhua news agency said on Thursday that police acted in self-defence when they fired on protesters on Sunday in Aba county, an ethnic Tibetan part of the western province of Sichuan.

Tibet authorities also said they had arrested dozens of people involved in the wave of protests that have swept the mountain region and prompted Beijing to pour in troops to crush further unrest.

China's response to last week's violence -- which it says was orchestrated by the Dalai Lama, the exiled Tibetan Buddhist leader -- has sparked international criticism and has clouded preparations for the Beijing Olympics.

Earlier on Thursday, in a phone call with her Chinese counterpart Yang Jiechi, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called for China to show restraint toward protesters and resume dialogue with the Dalai Lama.

China says 13 "innocent civilians" were killed in riots last week in Tibet's capital Lhasa that capped several days of peaceful protests. Exiled Tibetan groups say as many as 100 Tibetans have died.

Mindful of the legacy of its military crackdown on pro-democracy protests on Tiananmen Square in 1989, China says its security forces in Lhasa exercised "maximum restraint" and did not use lethal weapons.

But the Xinhua report makes clear the same did not apply in other parts of western China, where it has been sealing Tibetan areas from foreigners and tightening security.

State television on Thursday broadcast pictures of protests in Sichuan as well as Gansu province, both home to Tibetan communities, which showed men on horseback crying out Tibet independence slogans, burning cars and raising the Tibetan flag.

The report said the situation was now calm and showed pictures of barricades and police in riot gear. In Gansu's Gannan region, eight police and three government officials were injured in the unrest, it said.

In Kangding, a Tibetan town in Sichuan, roads were crowded with troops who blocked most travel. Notices on walls warned locals not to protest and to stay away from the "Dalai clique."

ARRESTS

In Lhasa, the prosecutor's office said 24 people faced charges of "endangering national security as well as beating, smashing, looting, arson and other grave crimes" in last Friday's riots, the Tibet Daily reported.

They were the first arrests since rioting erupted across the remote region. Some outside groups say hundreds of Tibetans may have already been detained, and the China News Service reported Lhasa has broadcast wanted pictures of more suspects.

"The facts of the crimes are clear and the evidence is solid, and they should be severely punished," a Lhasa deputy chief prosecutor, Xie Yanjun, said.

Xinhua reported that so far more than 170 people involved in the riots have given themselves up.

"Most of the people who surrendered themselves were ordinary members of the public who did not understand the true situation," it said.

China's unyielding response to the unrest has brought demands for a boycott of the opening ceremony for the August 8-24 Games from pro-Tibetan independence groups and some politicians.

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said there was no change in U.S. President George W. Bush's plans to attend the ceremony, and said the spotlight on Beijing could be a good thing.

"... That way the Chinese can hear how people feel and then maybe have an opportunity to either explain their position or maybe even change the things that they are doing," Perino said.

The Olympic torch relay across 19 countries that starts next week, and which will also pass through Tibet, is also likely to be dogged by protests.

"READY FOR TALKS"

The Chinese government has resisted international calls for dialogue over the unrest and expressed serious concern that British Prime Minister Gordon Brown plans to meet the Dalai Lama during a visit to Britain in May.

"If those acts can be tolerated, is there any law in the world? Is there any justice in the world?" Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang told a news conference when asked to respond to a call for dialogue from Pope Benedict.

The Dalai Lama, speaking in his exile home in the Indian town of Dharamsala, said he was ready to travel to Beijing to meet Chinese leaders, calling on Tibetans to end the violence.

Beijing has long said it would meet him only if he forsakes claims to Tibet's independence. The 72-year-old monk says he just wants greater autonomy for his homeland.

China has struggled to convince the international community that the Nobel Peace Prize winner orchestrated the violence and that its own policies are free from blame.

On Thursday, six fellow Nobel laureates sent an open letter to Chinese President Hu Jintao, urging restraint in Tibet.

"We call on you to engage in a meaningful dialogue with the men and women of Tibet to address their legitimate concerns and genuine grievances," the letter said.

(Additional reporting by Ian Ransom and Jason Subler in Beijing, John Ruwitch in Sichuan, China and Paul Eckert and Arshad Mohammed in Washington; Editing by Caroline Drees

ATTN: Everyone, I love The Knife.

This is important. What is this post? Just an explanation of my love. You will probably feel the same.

old news. but I wanted to post it again.

-->Here's my favorite part:
But it was a separate issue that precipitated a riveting, final-hour floor fight.

India sought to amend the document to strengthen requirements for richer nations to help poorer with technology to limit emissions and adapt to climate change's impacts.

The head of the U.S. delegation, Undersecretary of State Paula J. Dobriansky objected, setting off loud, long boos in the hall.

Next, delegate after delegate took aim at the United States, with South Africa saying Dobriansky's intervention was "most unwelcome and without any basis," and Uganda saying "We would like to beg them" to relent.

Then the delegate from Papua New Guinea leaned into his microphone.

"We seek your leadership," Kevin Conrad told the Americans. "But if for some reason you are not willing to lead, leave it to the rest of us. Please get out of the way."

The U.N. climate conference exploded with applause, the U.S. delegation backed down, and the way was cleared Saturday for adoption of the "Bali Roadmap."


-->Here's the full article:

Compromise reached at Bali climate talks By CHARLES J. HANLEY, AP Special Correspondent
Sun Dec 16, 6:39 AM ET


BALI, Indonesia - Two weeks of international climate talks marked by bitter disagreements and angry accusations culminated Saturday in a last-minute U.S. compromise and an agreement to adopt a blueprint for fighting global warming by 2009. Now comes the hard part.

Delegates from nearly 190 nations must fix goals for industrialized nations to cut their greenhouse gas emissions while helping developing countries cut their own emissions and adapt to rising temperatures.

Negotiators also will consider ways to encourage developing countries to protect their rapidly dwindling forests — which absorb carbon dioxide.

"This is the beginning, not the end," U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon told The Associated Press following the contentious climate conference, which stretched into an extra day. "We will have to engage in more complex, long and difficult negotiations."

Those gathering on the resort island of Bali were charged with launching negotiations to replace the Kyoto Protocol, which expires in 2012. What they decide in the next two years will help determine how much the world warms in the decades to come.

In a series of pivotal reports this year, a U.N. network of climate and other scientists warned of severe consequences — from rising seas, droughts, severe weather, species extinction and other effects — without sharp cutbacks in emissions of the industrial, transportation and agricultural gases blamed for global warming.

To avoid the worst, the Nobel Prize-winning Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change said, emissions should be reduced by 25 percent to 40 percent below 1990 levels by 2020. Greenhouse and other heat-trapping gases should be reduced at least by half by 2050, they added.

Despite an aggressive EU-led campaign to include specific emissions reduction targets for industrial nations — using the figures and time table above — the final roadmap has none.

The guidelines were eliminated after the U.S., joined by Japan and others, argued that targets should come at the end of the two-year negotiations, not the start.

But it was a separate issue that precipitated a riveting, final-hour floor fight.

India sought to amend the document to strengthen requirements for richer nations to help poorer with technology to limit emissions and adapt to climate change's impacts.

The head of the U.S. delegation, Undersecretary of State Paula J. Dobriansky objected, setting off loud, long boos in the hall.

Next, delegate after delegate took aim at the United States, with South Africa saying Dobriansky's intervention was "most unwelcome and without any basis," and Uganda saying "We would like to beg them" to relent.

Then the delegate from Papua New Guinea leaned into his microphone.

"We seek your leadership," Kevin Conrad told the Americans. "But if for some reason you are not willing to lead, leave it to the rest of us. Please get out of the way."

The U.N. climate conference exploded with applause, the U.S. delegation backed down, and the way was cleared Saturday for adoption of the "Bali Roadmap."

When talks begin, the focus again will fall on the United States, the only major industrial country that did not accept Kyoto. That pact requires 37 industrial nations to reduce greenhouse gases by a relatively modest 5 percent on average in the next five years.

A turning point may come a year down the road following the U.S. election of a new president, who many environmentalists hope will support deeper, mandatory emissions cuts in contrast to President Bush, who favors only voluntary approaches to reining in greenhouse gases.

The exemption of developing nations from the Kyoto Protocol's mandatory caps has also long been a key complaint of American opponents to the U.N. climate treaty process.

White House press secretary Dana Perino said the U.S. welcomed the positive steps outlined in the roadmap but had "serious concerns" about the different responsibilities that will be shouldered by developed and developing nations.

"The problem of climate change cannot be adequately addressed through commitments for emissions cuts by developed countries alone," Perino said.

"Negotiations must clearly differentiate among developing countries in terms of the size of their economies, their level of emissions and level of energy utilization, and sufficiently link the character or extent of responsibility to such factors," Perino said.

The comment seemed aimed squarely at China, a developing nation with an economy that is soon expected to zoom past Germany's to become the world's third biggest, after the United States and Japan.

China also now generates a large share of the world's greenhouse gases, with some experts saying it has already overtaken the United States as the world's No. 1 emitter.

The Bali plan does ask for more from the developing world, giving negotiators the task of considering "mitigation actions" — voluntary actions to slow emissions growth — for poorer countries, including such fast-growing economies as China's and India's.

For industrial nations, the Bali plan instructs negotiators to consider mitigation "commitments," mandatory caps as in the Kyoto deal. But the lack — at U.S. insistence — of ambitious numerical guidelines troubled many environmentalists.

"The people of the world wanted more. They wanted binding targets," said Marcelo Furtado of Greenpeace Brazil.

Climate policy analyst Eliot Diringer, of Washington's Pew center, looked on the positive side.

"It puts no one on the hook right now for emissions reductions," he said. "What's important, though, is that it lets no one off the hook either."
___
Associated Press Writers Joseph Coleman, Michael Casey, Chris Brummitt and Zakki Hakim contributed to this report.

This is worth your time.

Did you see The Nobodies??

If not, here is why you should have:

So it's official. I mean, it was official well before this video...but now is just a good time to let you know.

I'm voting for Barack Obama.